Being an American who has only traveled to Canada, at a time when a passport wasn’t required, I am often bewildered and sometimes a bit jealous by the life my European writing friends must live. Jes has told me that she speaks Turkish and some Italian. I can speak pig-Latin and can belch the alphabet. Angelika, who lives in Austria, has taken weekend train trips to London and can be in more countries than we have in illegals in just a few hours. I can take a train to another state, but who would want to be caught dead riding a train in this country? And who would want to see another boring US state? They can visit the birthplace of Christ, walk the beaches of Normandy, and gawk at the queen, princes and a princess. We have a president who thinks he’s a king.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I’ve been to nearly every state in the US and we have much to be proud of. I wouldn’t trade Yosemite for the white cliffs of Dover in a million years. Jes teases me about not having a passport, but I wouldn’t trade that either. I used to get miffed when I lived in California and would leave the state only to have to come back in and be asked if I had any fruit bought in another state. I couldn’t imagine how much a pain in the ass it must be to have to go through a check-point and flash a passport and have someone sniff up my arse every few hours on a long road-trip. And don’t get me started on the price of fuel for that road-trip. I wouldn’t want to give up my gas-guzzling SUV for their over-crowded trains or micro-speck cars. I have my pride.
I’m probably too spoiled to be a European anyway. I like not having to try to understand a foreigner. It’s easier to just make fun of them and say, “you come-a-here, you speak-a-da language!” and be done with it. Hell, I’ve managed to get myself into plenty of trouble just by speaking one language. I can’t imagine how many times I would put my foot in it if I spoke two or more. I’m also addicted to my car. They are big on public transportation over there – yuck. Give me two hour traffic jams over a sweaty, smelly fat-guy sitting next to me on a bus any day.
I guess the lesson here is to be thankful for where you live and enjoy what you have. I wonder what life is like for my writing friends who live in Australia? What are your thoughts, Jes?
Jes -
I think someone needs a bit of an eye-opener here.
Firstly you can travel all over Europe without ever once showing your passport, although it's wise to have one in case you're spot checked. How many passport control people do you think would have to be employed to stand on every road or path on all the borders of every country? It would be impossible.
That is part of your restrictive argument out of the window – now for travelling. Try out the Autobahn and travel from Germany to Switzerland, when you come here. How fast can your car go? 250MPH? Well, you can do it, legally. What is the limit where you are? A measly 50MPH. You're not gonna get very far on your weekend off work.
There is one tip for travelling around Europe, because you probably won't be able to understand the road signs. Don't panic – you won't get lost. If you think you are, then just look around at the people and you can work out what country you are in. All French people wear berets, stripy jumpers and ride bikes. The Germans wear Laderhosen. The Italians wear designer clothes even the refuse collectors, and the Spanish women look like Carmen and the men – bullfighters.
Using public transport is not more popular than driving, but for commuters it makes sense to let someone else do the driving. Most jobs have a lot of computer work involved these days, even if it's only answering emails, so a lot more work can get done on a train on the way to work and the way home. He who drives to work has a much longer working day or is less productive.
DB -
You mean to tell me that Hollywood has lied to me yet AGAIN?! You don't have to stand in long lines so that a greasy little guy with sweaty hands can grope you and dump you bags on end? There isn't a butch looking woman screaming "PASSPORT!!!" in your face while the guy with the AK 47 next to her smirks as if he is just waiting for an excuse to unload a clip? Shocking. I was so looking forward to that when I'm a rich and famous author and can afford to travel. I guess I'll just have to write about it instead.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I’ve been to nearly every state in the US and we have much to be proud of. I wouldn’t trade Yosemite for the white cliffs of Dover in a million years. Jes teases me about not having a passport, but I wouldn’t trade that either. I used to get miffed when I lived in California and would leave the state only to have to come back in and be asked if I had any fruit bought in another state. I couldn’t imagine how much a pain in the ass it must be to have to go through a check-point and flash a passport and have someone sniff up my arse every few hours on a long road-trip. And don’t get me started on the price of fuel for that road-trip. I wouldn’t want to give up my gas-guzzling SUV for their over-crowded trains or micro-speck cars. I have my pride.
I’m probably too spoiled to be a European anyway. I like not having to try to understand a foreigner. It’s easier to just make fun of them and say, “you come-a-here, you speak-a-da language!” and be done with it. Hell, I’ve managed to get myself into plenty of trouble just by speaking one language. I can’t imagine how many times I would put my foot in it if I spoke two or more. I’m also addicted to my car. They are big on public transportation over there – yuck. Give me two hour traffic jams over a sweaty, smelly fat-guy sitting next to me on a bus any day.
I guess the lesson here is to be thankful for where you live and enjoy what you have. I wonder what life is like for my writing friends who live in Australia? What are your thoughts, Jes?
Jes -
I think someone needs a bit of an eye-opener here.
Firstly you can travel all over Europe without ever once showing your passport, although it's wise to have one in case you're spot checked. How many passport control people do you think would have to be employed to stand on every road or path on all the borders of every country? It would be impossible.
That is part of your restrictive argument out of the window – now for travelling. Try out the Autobahn and travel from Germany to Switzerland, when you come here. How fast can your car go? 250MPH? Well, you can do it, legally. What is the limit where you are? A measly 50MPH. You're not gonna get very far on your weekend off work.
There is one tip for travelling around Europe, because you probably won't be able to understand the road signs. Don't panic – you won't get lost. If you think you are, then just look around at the people and you can work out what country you are in. All French people wear berets, stripy jumpers and ride bikes. The Germans wear Laderhosen. The Italians wear designer clothes even the refuse collectors, and the Spanish women look like Carmen and the men – bullfighters.
Using public transport is not more popular than driving, but for commuters it makes sense to let someone else do the driving. Most jobs have a lot of computer work involved these days, even if it's only answering emails, so a lot more work can get done on a train on the way to work and the way home. He who drives to work has a much longer working day or is less productive.
DB -
You mean to tell me that Hollywood has lied to me yet AGAIN?! You don't have to stand in long lines so that a greasy little guy with sweaty hands can grope you and dump you bags on end? There isn't a butch looking woman screaming "PASSPORT!!!" in your face while the guy with the AK 47 next to her smirks as if he is just waiting for an excuse to unload a clip? Shocking. I was so looking forward to that when I'm a rich and famous author and can afford to travel. I guess I'll just have to write about it instead.