Jes -
Coming from England, where the scariest pet is a dog with a head bigger than mine, I'm amazed by the array of dangerous, wild animals that people keep in their homes in America.
What with the strict anti-terrorism, immigration rules and security to get into that country, some of the stories I see on TV baffle me as to how all these creatures get there, AND WHY?
Surely Americans also see these programs and news reports! Don't they ever learn from them?
A few examples -
A man goes to hospital with viscous life-threatening wounds. He says his cat did it. The hospital called the police not believing him and they visited his upstairs apartment. There they found a fully-grown Bengal tiger and an adult crocodile in his bathroom. That is madness alone, but the guy was trying to hide his secret and would have gone home to them after his recovery.
The creatures were removed.
Another man had loads of lions, tigers, other big cats and baboons in kennels in his garden. This is in a residential area. Anyway – one day he's had enough of life and opens all the cages before shooting himself in the head.
I'm glad he didn't live next door to me.
A house had to be half-demolished to retrieve a tranquilised fully-grown polar bear, after it had eaten its owner, because it didn't fit through the door. I used this tale in one of my books because I found it quite ridiculous.
Chimpanzees and other primates are dressed and treated like children until they reach adolescence and either try to rape or maim their so-called parents.
Granted, we do have collectors of wild animals here and people do have exotic pets, but a croc in your bathroom, a tiger on the couch, a chimp in a cot – come on – what are you guys thinking?
DB-
It isn't like we can have any animal we want, Jes. There are laws and it is difficult to get an exotic animal license to keep dangerous animals like lions, tigers and bears (oh my!). But there are still plenty of odd pets that are perfectly legal in most states. Florida and most of the southern states are having to deal with huge pythons eating their dogs and cats because someone thought it would be 'cool' to have a slimy, disgusting snake as a pet and then decided it should be 'free as a bird' because it outgrew its fish tank.
A few years ago I saw a story how pot-bellied pigs were the new "rage". I grew up around pigs, on a farm, and I can tell you, they will NOT be coming into my home. They are promoted as 'cute', 'intelligent' and 'clean'. If that were true, I have no idea how they got the name 'pig'. Pigs are for bacon and pork bar-b-que, just like snakes are for cowboy boots and belts - everyone knows that. And lizards... well, the guy I've shown here below thought they were excellent as a hiking buddy. He hiked the entire Appalachian Trail with the silly thing on his back. He told me that it slept at night inside his sleeping bag with him because of the cold. Gives new meaning to the term 'trouser lizard'.
Coming from England, where the scariest pet is a dog with a head bigger than mine, I'm amazed by the array of dangerous, wild animals that people keep in their homes in America.
What with the strict anti-terrorism, immigration rules and security to get into that country, some of the stories I see on TV baffle me as to how all these creatures get there, AND WHY?
Surely Americans also see these programs and news reports! Don't they ever learn from them?
A few examples -
A man goes to hospital with viscous life-threatening wounds. He says his cat did it. The hospital called the police not believing him and they visited his upstairs apartment. There they found a fully-grown Bengal tiger and an adult crocodile in his bathroom. That is madness alone, but the guy was trying to hide his secret and would have gone home to them after his recovery.
The creatures were removed.
Another man had loads of lions, tigers, other big cats and baboons in kennels in his garden. This is in a residential area. Anyway – one day he's had enough of life and opens all the cages before shooting himself in the head.
I'm glad he didn't live next door to me.
A house had to be half-demolished to retrieve a tranquilised fully-grown polar bear, after it had eaten its owner, because it didn't fit through the door. I used this tale in one of my books because I found it quite ridiculous.
Chimpanzees and other primates are dressed and treated like children until they reach adolescence and either try to rape or maim their so-called parents.
Granted, we do have collectors of wild animals here and people do have exotic pets, but a croc in your bathroom, a tiger on the couch, a chimp in a cot – come on – what are you guys thinking?
DB-
It isn't like we can have any animal we want, Jes. There are laws and it is difficult to get an exotic animal license to keep dangerous animals like lions, tigers and bears (oh my!). But there are still plenty of odd pets that are perfectly legal in most states. Florida and most of the southern states are having to deal with huge pythons eating their dogs and cats because someone thought it would be 'cool' to have a slimy, disgusting snake as a pet and then decided it should be 'free as a bird' because it outgrew its fish tank.
A few years ago I saw a story how pot-bellied pigs were the new "rage". I grew up around pigs, on a farm, and I can tell you, they will NOT be coming into my home. They are promoted as 'cute', 'intelligent' and 'clean'. If that were true, I have no idea how they got the name 'pig'. Pigs are for bacon and pork bar-b-que, just like snakes are for cowboy boots and belts - everyone knows that. And lizards... well, the guy I've shown here below thought they were excellent as a hiking buddy. He hiked the entire Appalachian Trail with the silly thing on his back. He told me that it slept at night inside his sleeping bag with him because of the cold. Gives new meaning to the term 'trouser lizard'.
I've also heard of people keeping skunks, weasels, rats, raccoons and God only knows what else - all of which I'd have to pass on. I guess I have a hard time believing that Brits don't keep some of these less exotic pets as well. If I've learned anything about foreigners, it's that they are basically the same as us wacky Americans. We all like to push the limits and try to force nature to love us. So it is time to come clean, Jes. You can confess to the world that you keep bats in your attic and rats in your basement and you have a name for each one.
Jes -
I would have no problem with a pet rat, bat, ferret, snake, lizard or beaver in my sleeping bag. I would have a great night's kip.
I wouldn't get a wink if I was trying to accommodate something which might eat my head off.
What I mean is – why do Americans believe they are invincible to wild animals?
Humans are pretty crap without a gun. Maybe that's the difference. How many guns have you got?
And that's an Iguana on his back!
DB -
I'm probably the only Pennsylvanian who doesn't own a gun. But that is the subject for another blog. How in the world could you sleep with all those animals in your sleeping bag? You must have one hell of a large bag. :P Not every American is crazy enough to invite a mountain lion home for brunch. I, personally, would only open my house up to a few choice beavers.
Jes -
I would have no problem with a pet rat, bat, ferret, snake, lizard or beaver in my sleeping bag. I would have a great night's kip.
I wouldn't get a wink if I was trying to accommodate something which might eat my head off.
What I mean is – why do Americans believe they are invincible to wild animals?
Humans are pretty crap without a gun. Maybe that's the difference. How many guns have you got?
And that's an Iguana on his back!
DB -
I'm probably the only Pennsylvanian who doesn't own a gun. But that is the subject for another blog. How in the world could you sleep with all those animals in your sleeping bag? You must have one hell of a large bag. :P Not every American is crazy enough to invite a mountain lion home for brunch. I, personally, would only open my house up to a few choice beavers.