Getting to know Jesamine James has been a culturally enriching experience. Who would have guessed that songs spontaneously break-out in pubs all across England? I know I wouldn’t have believed it if Jes hadn’t captured it on her phone and sent me the video. Can you imagine what would happen if I tried to talk American Sam into joining me in a round of ‘Take me out to the ball game’? I can.
Me: Hey, Sam, let’s sing!
Sam: Uh… DB, how much have you had?
Me: This is my second. Do you want another before we sing?
Sam: Dude. It’s Friday. Karaoke was last night. You know I don’t sing then either. What’s up with you? Did you hit the bong before you hit the bar?
Me: Nah, I’m not high, man. I just thought it might be nice to sing a song with a friend like they do in the pubs over in England. You know… belly up to the bar, mate…
Sam: That’s Australia.
Me: Same thing. Now, come on, you know the words... Take me out to the ball game…
Sam: Yeah, you’re a real funny guy. Now shut your trap. No one wants to f---ing sing in a bar on a Friday night.
Me: Take me out with the crowd…
Sam: Dude! I’m not kidding! It’s not even baseball season. People are starting to look. At least sing a little softer.
Me: Buy me some peanuts and crackerjacks! I DON’T CARE IF I NEVER GET BACK!
Jerry, Steve and Jason: Hey, douche bag! Shut the f--- up!
Sam: Yeah, man, shut up! You’re gonna get our asses kicked.
Me: Let me ROOT, ROOT, ROOT for the home team!
Bartender: Sir! Could you keep it down? You’re making people uncomfortable.
Sam: You’re gonna get us kicked out. Knock it off!
Me: If they don’t win it’s a shame!
Jerry, Steve, Jason and Sam: Let’s take him outside and kick the sh-- out of him!
Me: For it’s one, two, three strikes you’re out…
Bartender: The hell with outside! Just get him to shut up!
Me: At the old ball game!
I'm sure Jes will want to weigh in on this.
Jes -
There does seem to be quite a large culture difference when it comes to drinking.
I'm sure both our Governments try extremely hard to make us see the evil in alcohol, the health risks and the unsociable factors of over-doing it. The difference is that many of us in Britain take no notice and don't feel stigmatised by their lies and propaganda.
We have our own solutions for alcohol training.
First we send our youngsters on holiday to remote islands in the sun. Here they practise the basic skills needed to make them responsible and sociable drinkers. It can take quite a few trips for some, but they learn their limits and train their brains to not feel dizzy, to hold in sick, to not be aggressive or tearful and to fall over without injuring themselves.
Once trained in the basic skills they can be integrated into main stream pubs back home. They will learn more techniques from the older generations there - such as, never leaving your mobile unattended, having an alibi or being ready to be someone's alibi, not to start up a new song until the perfect second when everyone finishes the last song and to sense people's emotions before opening their mouths.
I have seen many a young drinker walk into a bar and shout out, “God, what's wrong with you all? Did someone die?” Then on further inspection noticing everyone is in mourning-gear.
This is all part of the learning curve and no one makes the same mistake a second time.
Once fully trained the drinker is capable of striking up conversation with total strangers and experiencing some of the most interesting and colourful people on the planet. There are only three rules to obey -
Don't talk politics
Don't talk religion
Don't bore people with how miserable or how brilliant your job is.
All this can be achieved before the age of twenty.
There is something very satisfying and right about seeing a twenty-year-old chatting away to an eighty-year-old stranger at the bar. Compare it to passing in the street – they probably wouldn't even nod a hello, normally.
Sadly our pubs are closing, people can't afford to visit regularly and many of us don't even know our neighbours and never will. The world will become only more hostile if we don't go out drinking.
DB - I'm not so sure our government has anything to do with propagandizing the evils of alcohol. In fact, in Pennsylvania, where I live, all alcohol that is sold to people to take home is sold in 'State Stores', which are run and profited by the state government. The more we drink, the more money they get to give themselves raises and build huge palatial office buildings. They want us snockered! They do constantly tell us not to drink and drive; something Americans swear they won't do, until they are drunk and need to get home.
Me: Hey, Sam, let’s sing!
Sam: Uh… DB, how much have you had?
Me: This is my second. Do you want another before we sing?
Sam: Dude. It’s Friday. Karaoke was last night. You know I don’t sing then either. What’s up with you? Did you hit the bong before you hit the bar?
Me: Nah, I’m not high, man. I just thought it might be nice to sing a song with a friend like they do in the pubs over in England. You know… belly up to the bar, mate…
Sam: That’s Australia.
Me: Same thing. Now, come on, you know the words... Take me out to the ball game…
Sam: Yeah, you’re a real funny guy. Now shut your trap. No one wants to f---ing sing in a bar on a Friday night.
Me: Take me out with the crowd…
Sam: Dude! I’m not kidding! It’s not even baseball season. People are starting to look. At least sing a little softer.
Me: Buy me some peanuts and crackerjacks! I DON’T CARE IF I NEVER GET BACK!
Jerry, Steve and Jason: Hey, douche bag! Shut the f--- up!
Sam: Yeah, man, shut up! You’re gonna get our asses kicked.
Me: Let me ROOT, ROOT, ROOT for the home team!
Bartender: Sir! Could you keep it down? You’re making people uncomfortable.
Sam: You’re gonna get us kicked out. Knock it off!
Me: If they don’t win it’s a shame!
Jerry, Steve, Jason and Sam: Let’s take him outside and kick the sh-- out of him!
Me: For it’s one, two, three strikes you’re out…
Bartender: The hell with outside! Just get him to shut up!
Me: At the old ball game!
I'm sure Jes will want to weigh in on this.
Jes -
There does seem to be quite a large culture difference when it comes to drinking.
I'm sure both our Governments try extremely hard to make us see the evil in alcohol, the health risks and the unsociable factors of over-doing it. The difference is that many of us in Britain take no notice and don't feel stigmatised by their lies and propaganda.
We have our own solutions for alcohol training.
First we send our youngsters on holiday to remote islands in the sun. Here they practise the basic skills needed to make them responsible and sociable drinkers. It can take quite a few trips for some, but they learn their limits and train their brains to not feel dizzy, to hold in sick, to not be aggressive or tearful and to fall over without injuring themselves.
Once trained in the basic skills they can be integrated into main stream pubs back home. They will learn more techniques from the older generations there - such as, never leaving your mobile unattended, having an alibi or being ready to be someone's alibi, not to start up a new song until the perfect second when everyone finishes the last song and to sense people's emotions before opening their mouths.
I have seen many a young drinker walk into a bar and shout out, “God, what's wrong with you all? Did someone die?” Then on further inspection noticing everyone is in mourning-gear.
This is all part of the learning curve and no one makes the same mistake a second time.
Once fully trained the drinker is capable of striking up conversation with total strangers and experiencing some of the most interesting and colourful people on the planet. There are only three rules to obey -
Don't talk politics
Don't talk religion
Don't bore people with how miserable or how brilliant your job is.
All this can be achieved before the age of twenty.
There is something very satisfying and right about seeing a twenty-year-old chatting away to an eighty-year-old stranger at the bar. Compare it to passing in the street – they probably wouldn't even nod a hello, normally.
Sadly our pubs are closing, people can't afford to visit regularly and many of us don't even know our neighbours and never will. The world will become only more hostile if we don't go out drinking.
DB - I'm not so sure our government has anything to do with propagandizing the evils of alcohol. In fact, in Pennsylvania, where I live, all alcohol that is sold to people to take home is sold in 'State Stores', which are run and profited by the state government. The more we drink, the more money they get to give themselves raises and build huge palatial office buildings. They want us snockered! They do constantly tell us not to drink and drive; something Americans swear they won't do, until they are drunk and need to get home.